Heather Rae Scott

On Saturday, January 27th at 5 am my uncle called to tell me that my grandfather was gone. He passed away peacefully in his sleep at my other uncle’s home, he’d been there less than 24 hours.

I don’t know how I’m feeling–there’s a gamut of emotions running through me. I’m angry because I feel someone dropped the ball at the rehab. I’m tired of people asking me how I am, because I can’t tell them. And I know that’s a common response after, “I’m sorry for your loss.” I’m trying to stay strong for my kids and having to explain to an eight year old about cremation and what it means wasn’t exactly pleasant. My kids are used to viewing someone in a coffin, and explaining that they won’t be able to see him again like that…I don’t know–morbid thoughts warning. Is it better to remember someone when they were alive and not see them in a coffin or does seeing them bring closure? When I think about my pap, I still see him waving and blowing kisses as I left. And maybe that is what is keeping me from being a complete mess–then again I’ve been away from him and tomorrow when my grandma returns from Alabama (Thank God!) and he isn’t with her, maybe that’s when it’ll hit me.

I just feel empty.

So after my delay and plane ticket disaster, we were on the road again. I don’t know whose bright idea it was to go the whole way to Columbus, Ohio and then cut down…oh, right, that would be my cousin Blair’s brilliant idea. :no: We had a lot of laughs listening to the truckers banter as we made our way towards Cincy. I never realized the Bengals stadium was so darned close to the Kentucky border and I did chuckle when an obvious Steeler fan commented over the CB that he wished the river would suck up the stadium. And of course, I cannot forget the infamous ‘worm beds’. Okay, so they weren’t worm beds, it was part of the highway, but it looked like the construction workers were playing in worm beds.

Welcome to Kentucky. I need a rest area and NOW. So, we’re puttering along and my cousin and I get into this big discussion about, of all things The Loch Ness Monster, which leads to an even deeper discussion about Atheism, with him doing the majority of the conversing. His choice. Not mine, but I listened. I didn’t argue because I learned a long time ago, I won’t win. So, I kept my lips closed and I nodded a lot.

We stop at a Waffle House because Blair is starving. Me? I just want some sweet tea. We get back out on the road and we’re bee-bopping along when suddenly Blair curses.

“How did we miss our turn?”

“You’re driving,” I remind him.

He pulls off the road and he realizes we’re like 150 miles in the opposite way of where we need to be. :holy:

I saw more of Kentucky in the dark than I ever want to see in my life again. Evah. But it was cool to drive past Kenneland and see where the Kentucky Derby takes place.

My buttocks feel bruised. I didn’t know your butt could feel this way and I don’t ever want them to feel this way again. Guess it wouldn’t be a road trip without mistakes along the way.

What is the worst thing that ever happened to you on a road trip?

I want to thank you all for the thoughts, prayers and emails concerning my grandfather. He did have to have his left leg amputated below the knee, however he is in super good spirits and even joked.

Pap: I guess I need to watch what I say from now on.
Me: Why?
Pap: Well, if I put my foot in my mouth, I’ll fall on my ass.

At least he still has his sense of humor. He said I was a sight for sore eyes. I hated leaving him and I bawled for about half an hour, but I’m glad I went to see him and my grandma.

Now for the blunders. Oh yes, there were major blunders. Because nothing in my life can ever go smoothly.

My cousin Blair called me Wednesday and said he heard I was interested in going to Alabama. I said yes, I was. He works for the government and does something with computer and phone systems in prisons. His job has kept him in New Jersey for quite some time. He said if I wanted to go, he’d swing by and pick me up. I asked him when he was coming back and he said in a week. I explained that I couldn’t leave my kids for a whole week, but thanked him for the offer. He told me if I changed my mind to let him know. He called back again, and said, “What if you get a flight back?” So, I told him I had to crunch some numbers and see what I could find before I decided.

In the meantime, I’m emailing my mom and telling her this at work, so she tells me to find prices. So, I’m on all the places like Orbirtz, Expedia, Travelocity…searching for tickets. I found some pretty cheap ones, talked to Mark and went from there. My mom decided she could go as well. Called my cousin then waited for her to get here so we could book our flight.

Now, in my defense. I had her talking to me, my phone was ringing because my uncles were calling for updates and my other uncle was calling to see if we were coming to Alabama for sure. I get our tickets booked, my mom goes home and I start laundry and getting the house ready to make things easy on My Guy.

My cousin called on Thursday afternoon to tell me he’d be another 6 -7 hours. I’m thinking this works because I want to be able to spend some time with the kids and My Guy. My cousin showed up at my house a little after 6 pm. Um, I wasn’t ready. So we race through dinner, I pack really fast and we head out the door and my daughter is bawling horribly like I’m leaving her forever and I start to cry and yadda, yadda, yadda…

We’re driving along, talking, laughing and Blair asks, “When is the 14th?”
My mom replies, “This Sunday.”
I say, “What?” Panic fills my being.
“It’s your sister-in-law’s birthday this Sunday. I told you that Heather.”
*insert expletive here*
This is where I have to explain to my mother that instead of booking our return flight home for the 14th. I’ve booked us to come home a weekend later on the 21st. She was not happy. I called Orbitz, bawling. Thank God it hadn’t been twenty-four hours. They have a courtesy free cancellation if you cancel within twenty-four hours.

So, I’m on my cell phone with my friend Becky and we’re trying to get a cheap ticket for the weekend. It was tortuous as my cell phone decided to be a PITA and Blair’s CB and radio were loud, so I made him stop at a rest stop so we could get all of it done. But we did and it worked out.

Tomorrow, you get blunder two.

it pours. It’s been awhile since my little black rain cloud of doom and gloom has visited.

This weekend I had a house full of girls for my daughter’s sleepover. Right after they arrived, my phone rang. My pap has impeccable timing. My grandparents were to come home today, in fact looking at the clock, their plane would’ve landed, after a three week visit to my Uncles in Alabama. I’ve been waiting for the ball to drop so to speak because this trip wasn’t neccessarily approved by my pap’s dr. It was more of a, “you’re almost 90, so go ahead, have fun!” type thing.

The ball dropped Saturday.

When he left he had a diabetic ulcer on his ankle. These are extremely painful and extremely hard to get to heal. He had a visiting nurse coming in to clean it and redress it. He hasn’t had that in Alabama. So, his ankle is infected to the bone. There are various stages to this and he’s about halfway on both. So, I’m waiting for a phone call right now and have been since this morning. Last I heard they were waiting for the dr to tell them if he was going to have to have surgery to removed the infection from the bone. You see many, many years ago, my pap had two ton of steel come down and crush his legs. His ankle bones and leg bones are a mess. Lots of cracks and crevices and places for infection to hide in there. The MRI was supposed to show them what they were up against because the fever keeps coming back.

I’ve never felt so damned helpless in my life. And the long intervals between phone calls is insane. A simple, hey, he’s still the same, we’re still waiting, every couple of hours would be wonderful. Unfortunately, that isn’t happening.

And this is my pap we’re talking about. I’ve always and forever been a Pappy’s girl. So, if you feel compelled, say a little prayer on his behalf.