My aunt said I needed to write about this, so here it is.
Yesterday, the plan was simple, my youngest son and I were to take my grandma to her Orthopedic Doc to get Cortisone shots in both knees, then go to lunch and come home. Simple, right? Nothing is ever simple with my Grandma. Nothing.
We’re on our way and my Grandma decides to tell me we have to stop at my Uncle’s and Bath and Body Works and possibly another store. :what: I ask why and she rattles off some things. Her Dr. was late and she complained worse than my eight-year-old who was flipping through magazines. B&B Works is like right around the corner. We’re to run in for “Moonlight Path” body lotion. After ten minutes of, “Well, what’s this one? Let me smell it?” and “You go look at what you want too.” She finally decided on getting some exotic coconut stuff, the “Moonlit Path” and some shampoo. I cannot go back to this particular B&BW for a long time. And here’s why. My grandma checks out and looks in the bag, looks at the cashier and says: “Where are my samples?”
The cashier kind of ignores her, because I’ve never been to a B&BW that has given samples here in Western Pa. Ever. Louder and more annoyed, rumaging through her bag, :hissy: “WHERE are my samples?”
“Ma’am, I’m not sure what you mean,” the cashier says politely.
“In Alabama, I got samples.”
“Grandma, this isn’t Alabama.”
*insert glare of death here*
She bitched the whole way to my Uncle’s about the lack of samples. The rest is kinda not worth mentioning. It was more of the same, more pouting, more Grandma. We come home…FINALLY and I’m listening to all of my messages on my answering machine. I’m halfway through one from my daughter in NC and the power flickers. It does this twice until it finally dies. I have no power. My phone starts ringing because apparently I’m supposed to know WHY the whole freaking town doesn’t have power. I’m just as clueless as the rest of the town. My phone rings again and it’s my Grandma.
“Heather?”
“Yes?”
“My television doesn’t work and neither does my cordless phone.”
I try my best not to laugh my ass off as I tell her, “Nothing is going to work. The entire town doesn’t have power.”
“Why?”
 
I caught nothing yesterday and two small large mouth bass, today. Of course, no one could run and grab the camera for moi. That’s okay, I look lovely in a baseball hat with a fishing license hooked onto it.
