Yesterday was Oprah’s very last show and I watched it because I’ve watched her for years. I remember when she was like everyone else and doing puff-pieces and watched her as she began to grow into her own and do the tough stories, like child abuse. I never really liked her Book Club choices, but I only wish now I’d started a gratitude journal.
I don’t know what I was expecting for her final show, but at first, I thought, this is what all the hype was about? She was talking, yes, but I thought it could be a little more exciting, a little more profound. I almost switched the channel, but am so glad I didn’t, because she stated talking to me.
She said she learned to be true to herself. I haven’t been true to myself for quite some time. I had plans for 2011. Big plans. But life happened and I let it take over. There were more outside responsibilities, changes as in my son going into the USAF. I thought I was dealing well with it and then the emptiness of not seeing his face everyday, not hearing his voice got to me. And then, when it was okay that I didn’t hear from him everyday, the guilt of feeling okay hit. My neighbor got seriously ill and my responsibilities as one of her caregivers changed. I lost a nephew that I loved without ever meeting. And I had an incident occur in which I was accused of something I never had any plans of doing and I let it get the best of me.
In order to be true to myself, I know what I need to do. It’s not going to be easy, but I’m a survivor. I know what I need to do to get to the goals I want, that I need to be true to myself. I just need to set reasonable ones so that I’m not setting myself up to fail. Because that’s how the old me rolled. I started by changing my eating habits and almost three weeks in and a couple of pounds lighter, I’m finding it easier to eat better and more than just once a day and I even started riding my bike on a trail we have close to my house. I wanted instant gratification on the weight loss, but I’m content now with slow and steady wins the race. I know that part of my life will get easier.
My goal right now for this blog is to post at least twice a week. Hopefully, that’ll increase as I come out of this funk I’d been in.
Writing is and always has been my passion. It’s time to get it back.
What’s your passion? Have YOU been being true to yourself?